Never be afraid when your love changes, because changing love is healthy love.
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Writing about love is hard for me, damned hard.
I mostly stumble around the topic and make a mess of things. It’s not that I don’t need love. I need my family and my close friends to love me, I just find it difficult to express it. Many men are comfortable expressing love, it just takes me a while to get there.
Love takes time to mature
Your love has to mature so that your relationship can mature. It’s taken me a while to figure it out, but I have realized that in marriage, your love has to grow up or else you become stuck. It’s no fun being married to a 17 year old when you are 45. Just ask my wife.
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Love is alive and will experience cycles of growth and cycles of contraction.
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My wife and I have been together for 18 years and our love has changed more times than I can count. That is because love is alive and will experience cycles of growth and cycles of contraction. The contractions can be painful, but it helps to know that they are part of a healthy relationship.
I have found at least six different kinds of love that relationships cycle through. After I describe each kind of love, I have included a question or two that will help you move to the next cycle in your relationship. The six loves are not stages that build on each other. You may return over and over to one or another of the loves. That is normal, it just means that you have more to learn.
To read the six loves that create lasting love, click here.
Keep it Real
Previously published by smswaby at the Good Men Project
Photos by Kevin Dooley and Vinoth Chandar
Getting High on Recovery 
Very interesting post. You nailed it. I recognized my past relationship there. Long story! (Just as an aside comment. Your post was difficult to read because your “Good Men Project” site kept interrupting and asking me to join and froze the dialogue, but I persevered. 🙂
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Olga, Thanks. If I did anything, it was to express how challenging and mysterious love really is. Sorry it was tough to read, but thank you for your perseverence!
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