Getting High on Recovery

It struck me the other day that teenagers are like cats. Read my expertly compiled list and see for yourself.

• Cats only listen to you when they want something from you. They allow you to hang around them, for now.
• Cats only need a few things from you: Feed them, open the door to let them in and to let them out, and every now and then they let you pet them. And then they bite you.
• When a cat wants something, they want it NOW!
• A cat is a friend, with claws. Don’t forget that.

• Cat’s don’t like change. If a cat is sitting next to you and you move your foot, expect The Claw. And remember that it’s your fault, because you moved. Everything is your fault.
• Go ahead pet their belly, then pick your finger up off the floor.
• Cleaning up cat hair from the floor, from the couch and from the sink is a privilege of being with a cat. Don’t forget that.
• Cats give one word answers for every question that you ask them. You should just know what they want. That’s why they let you live with them. For now.
• Cat’s are smarter than you. They know it and so should you.

Keep it real.