In recovery, you may want to do your best but good is what it takes.
I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay
You may have a million reasons to quit, to walk away. But what is your one reason to start something?
All that you need is one reason.
If you are like me, you have a few things that you want to quit this year. Your quit list may include some of these items:
- Using marijuana
- Ruminating to the point of running your depression into overdrive
- Over committing
You are probably clear that you want to quit (or cut back on) some things. It is tempting to rush into deciding what you want to change before you consider why you want to make a change. Knowing WHAT you want to stop is a good thing and knowing WHY you want to quit is even more important.
So why do you want to reduce your clutter, eat a little less, drink less, smoke less marijuana or over-commit less this year?
This is the one question that you will want to answer slowly. Slow answers are usually the best answers because you take time to deeply consider the costs and benefits of making a decision.
Knowing your one reason to stay will help you to face a million reasons to leave.
Good, better or best?
Perfectionism can kill your motivation to make progress in your recovery. It can make you feel stuck because all that you can think about is the best decision you can make. Perfectionism does not make room for growth because we will only accept the best from ourselves.
Sometimes you can’t give your best or you are not sure what is the best decision.
When you are not sure what to do next, ask yourself “What is the next healthy decision that I need to make?”
If you follow professional hockey teams, you know that sometimes a team can go through scoring slump. They just cannot seem to score any goals. The Coach will try to help. They teach, they motivate and sometimes they scream. After doing everything to prepare for their best, what the team needs is just to score. ANY. WAY. THEY. CAN. It’s not about getting the perfect goal. Breaking a slump often comes by scoring a few messy, lame or uninspiring goals. We break our slumps by just getting pucks into the net, not by being fancy.
If you are in recovery, or if you are just trying to get over a loss of motivation, remember this one lesson: You break your slumps by consistent, good effort… not by being your best. Your best can get in the way because you need to just start where you are at. And often starting is messy.
A friend of mine, Steve Austin, calls it messy grace. Messy grace is the grace that we find on the hard days when we just are not at our best. It is the grace that we find when we get honest and accept that we are imperfect and that change just feels hard right now. It is the grace that we find when we accept ourselves even though we don’t fit in with what others expect of us.
Your best may not always be what is best. Sometimes you need to accept messy, lame and uninspiring effort. You may want your best but good is what it takes.
Today, you may have a million reasons to walk away. But all that you need is one reason to stay. That reason does not need to be perfect. It just needs to be a good reason for you.
If you enjoyed this post, you will want to read some of my other work:
For article on how to avoid being a stubborn jackass in recovery, click on the photo above.
I write articles about wellness, leadership, parenting and personal growth. My hope is to deliver the best content I can to inspire, to inform and to entertain. Sign up for my blog if you want to receive the latest and best of my writing. If you like what I have to say, please share my work with your friends.
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Keep it Real
Photo by Caelie Frampton