Dwelling on What Was will Rob You of What Is

recovery-is-not-about-the-drugs-or-the-depression-it-is-about-what-happens-today-1Recovery is not about the drugs or the depression. It is about what happens today.


Dwelling on what was will rob you of what is. Hector and the Search for Happiness

How old are you? Does age really matter?

Probably not. Other things matter more, like health, happiness, relationships and a sense of meaning. Age is just a number. None of us knows if we will live to retirement or die too young from cancer. Age can only tell you how old you are, not how many years that you have left.

Does your recovery age matter?

Does it matter how long you have gone without a drink, a puff or a pill? Or the length of time without the gloom or the panic?

Recovery age is probably more important than your birth age because it leads you to the next question:

How far along you are in your recovery? 

  • Starting out and stabilizing?
  • Feet on the ground and growing?
  • Well enough to fix things: your healthy, your relationships, your finances, your future?

“More important than what we are searching for is what we are avoiding.” Hector and the Search for Happiness

There are more important things than the depression or the drinking.

What is more important than the drinking, the drugs, the depression or the panic?

A few things about today are important: Can you be flexible? Can you communicate what is on your mind? Can you be close enough to care? Are you growing or avoiding?

Flexibility: Are you willing to wander a little and be flexible? Step out of your comfort zone?

Communication: Do you say what is on your mind, do you thoughtfully filter, do you still wonder if you even have a voice?

Relationships: Are you able to love and feel love, or do you feel stuck in your relationships, or pour yourself into your relationships like you will die without the other person?

Recovery is more than the numbers: It’s about what happens today.

I can do pretty well when it comes to the numbers: My crushing depression and panic attacks are a thing of the past. I am in remission and I have been symptom free for over a year. The numbers look good, but even though I feel good sometimes my today sucks. Sometimes it’s like I don’t know how to live in my own skin.

I make messes in my relationships and then I just walk away.

Recovery is not about clean time, it’s not about the drugs or the depression. These things are a part of the journey and they are important. But recovery is more than what you have stopped doing. It is about what happens in your today.

recovery-is-not-about-the-drugs-or-the-depression-it-is-about-what-happens-today-2Today, you can make the most of things. What is important today is what IS, not what used to be. Dwelling on your clean time, being in remission or any other diagnoses won’t help to move you forward. What will help you move forward is to do what you have been putting off.

The question I will leave you with is this: What is the next healthy decision that you need to make? What needs to be done today?


I write articles about wellness, leadership, parenting and personal growth. My hope is to deliver the best content I can to inspire, to inform and to entertain. Sign up for my blog if you want to receive the latest and best of my writing. If you like what I have to say, please share my work with your friends.

recovery-is-not-about-the-drugs-or-the-depression-it-is-about-what-happens-today-3Lastly, if you like my writing, you can click here to vote for my page on Psych Central’s list of mental health blogs.

Keep it Real

References: All quotations from the movie: Hector and the Search for Happiness. I highly recommend the movie, just make sure you have a notepad. The movie contains some profound wisdom.

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