Getting High on Recovery

Fresh popcorn with salty butter. Just thinking about it reminds me of movies and being able to forget my life for a couple of hours. I love popcorn with butter and a little salt. Not so much salt that it burns the tongue but enough so that just when you finish one mouthful, you immediately crave the next. Hand to mouth, repeat. Ahh, popcorn! 

Love the popcorn and the butter, but I don’t like the Yeabutter. You probably have had some Yeabutter. Unlike popcorn, its smell is annoying. Yeabutter makes everything taste worse. It seems to ruin easy conversations and lazy afternoons. It has an annoying aftertaste.

Yeabutter purgatory

Yeabutting – the act of discounting what the other person has just said and focusing only on the negative aspects of a point; unable to acknowledge that the other person may have a valid point; wanting to make a point and being unwilling to listen to the other person.

I had a conversation with a Yeabutter yesterday. We even laughed about it. 22 Yeabuts in ten minutes. 22? It was like a tennis match, only this time I could not turn the channel! Make a good serve, Yeabutted back. Clarify my point, Yeabut back at ya! Made me want to kick her in the Yeabutt!

It is irritating to be Yeabutted. Makes me feel the conversation is not a conversation but a Me-versation. (The universe has been destroyed, now there is a Meverse. I am Lord Business!). I cannot stand it, but I think there is a purpose for the Yeabutting. It is a sign that the other person needs to make a point and is not feeling heard. It is also a way for the other person to validate a negative viewpoint without any new evidence.

Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of great advice on how to win a conversation with a Yeabutter. In fact, I generally don’t try to win at conversations. To me conversations are not wars or games where I win or lose. I find that repeating what I hear a Yeabutter saying makes it clear that I have heard what the other person has said. I use gentle humor by keeping a running total of Yeabuts and then updating the number out loud. Yes, I can be an ass even if I am a good listener. When I genuinely appreciate what the other person has to say, the Yeabuts seem to decrease.

Any Yeabuts in response to what I have said? Go ahead, I am counting.

Keep it real.