Do you have the Canine Regret Gene?

Regret. The word moves through your mouth like it consists of molasses and peanut butter. It is a slow word that lingers on the ledge of the tongue. Regret must be pretty good, because we have all tasted it. Rehearsing regret can trigger cravings to eat, to drink alcohol or to go shopping. Trust me, I am guilty on all fronts.

Regret is an interesting emotion because we humans are not alone in feeling regret. According to You Tube, there are around 463,000 guilty dog videos.

I invested 30 minutes of exhausting research watching Guilty Dog Videos. I discovered something in the process: I am basically a dog. When I experience regret, I hide my head in a bag of chips, I act quiet and move slow so that no one notices me, I lie down on the kitchen floor until someone rubs my tummy, I stare off into space, I wag my tail and blink a lot and I sometimes back away and go to the bathroom for a while. I dare you to deny that you too have a Canine Regret Gene.

To be fair, I looked up Guilty Cat Videos. The videos seem like pretty much normal cat behavior to me. Cats can do anything they want, walk around the house and then we run after them. Sorry, but that is not regret. That is being proud that they got away with it! Basically cats are saying “Yea, I did that. Go ahead and catch me if you can, then I’ll claw your eyes out and pee in your coffee. And you will like it if you want to live in my house!”

I am at my mother’s house for Christmas and the other day, I swear their cat Princess (the name says it all) gave me the finger because I gave her the wrong kind of milk! No, cats do not experience guilt, cats only emotion is revenge. And Revenge is best Served Cold.

If you enjoyed this piece, check out “You are What Eats at You” that I posted in May.

This is part one in a two part article on learning from our mistakes. Stay tuned!

Keep it real.

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