Getting High on Recovery

Anxiety is a secret weapon giving you powers that most mortals could only dream of. Read on anxious warrior, you have earned a place in our clan.

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If it were not for anxiety, we would all sit around unmotivated and satisfied with ourselves in our caves. Because of anxiety, we have shopping malls and Costco. Pretty good outcomes, I’d say.

The 13 Ways that Anxiety is Your Superpower

1. You are the FBI, the CIA, and Homeland Security in one package. They would save a lot of money if they listened to you.
2. Your body is a dancing machine. You are an earthquake of movement.
3. You burn more calories. Your mind is racing and your body is always moving.
4. Your twitches are your personal Morse Code. You can use it to send secret messages to other people and order dinner when you don’t feel like talking. It’s just one more of your superpowers.
5. Your coffee waits for you to give it a jolt of caffeine.
6. You never need an alarm clock. You have an inner alarm clock that is ready to ring. At any moment.
7. Your imagination is your gym and your mind is always working out.
8. You are a one-person machine activity. There is no “We” in Anxiety. There is also no “Hamburger” in anxiety, so you get hungry a lot.
9. Your mind is like Spiderman, jumping from topic to topic looking for bad guys. You should make a super hero suit and join him. Call yourself Anxious Man or Worry Girl. Then again, maybe just watch TV instead.
10. You can’t sleep at night, so you get your sleep whenever you can. Your best sleeps are in meetings, at stoplights and stop signs, and pretty much any time in between the commercials.
11. Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims through concrete and you are a one person hover craft. Sorry Chuck, you can cry about it later.
12.  Anxiety will be friendly to you if you feed it with steak and coffee. But not at the same time, that is just gross.
13. You are a Yoda-Ninja: Calm and serene on the outside but inside you are a Ninja-fighter. Sometimes your feet do uncontrollable Ninja kicks, just because you are a bad-ass.

Your Tribe of Yoda-Ninjas is here. Join us, friend and do Ninja exploits!

Keep It Real (From one Yoda-Ninja to another).

If you like this piece, you will enjoy 11 Ways to Defy Your Depression with Humor.

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