Getting High on Recovery

Because Zombies are just awesome.

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I love Zombies and this post is in honor of Zombies everywhere. You know who you are, just know that we love you and we want to run away and hide from you at the same time. Not even your in-laws can can get you to react like that.

13 Reasons To Love a Zombie

1. Being able to use Apocalypse in a sentence is an accomplishment. I feel like I have completed my intellectual work for the day. Just say Zombie Apocalypse and you feel smart, sci-fi and cool all at the same time.

2. Zombies are a great excuse. Zombies give you and I the best excuse for not coming to school or work… “Sorry I cannot come to work today because a Zombie ate my brains.” It’s um, a No Brainer…

3. Teenagers are essentially Zombies. They moan, they walk around looking undead, their rooms smell like the undead and they leave a disaster wherever they go.

4. Zombies walk like they are retired, but they know what they want in life. Geriatric Zombies give me something to look forward to in the golden years.

5. They are walking miracles: so little brain power but so much activity. Now if you and I could only copy that, just think of the energy we would save for other important things.

6. I become a Zombie after one hour in the mall: I begin to walk slowly, drool comes out of my mouth, my hair looks like a disaster and I trip over little children.

7. My favorite Zombies are the ones that walk slowly and look creepy. My least favorite zombies are those who can run fast. If a brain is dead, they should not be able to run any more. That just seems to break the undead rule book.

8. Zombie clowns are just creepy. I have nightmares about that.

9. Anything you have can be a weapon. Legs of a chair, your leg, someone else’s leg… anything you can get your hands on is a weapon.

10. When you watch a Zombie eat brains, you are more thankful for whatever you have for supper. “Thank you Jesus that we eat Turkey instead of brains.”

11. Zombies are good allies in hand to hand combat. They are not so good in the strategic stuff or when they have to wait around. If they are bored, they tend to eat you. Keep them busy and you will be okay.

12. They make good pets, except for the unfortunate tendency to want to eat you. The solution is to wear bite proof clothing when you walk your Zombie.

13. Zombies love you. You don’t have to be brilliant or funny to have a Zombie love you. They love the outcast and especially those of us who are less athletic. The slower you are, the happier they feel. They don’t care how you did on your grade 10 math or your SAT’s. Zombies will always accept you as you are.

Keep it Real, Zombie friends.

 

I am an author with the Good Men Project. You will find all of my Good Men Project content at my author page.

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Photo credit: Tangi Bertin