Getting High on Recovery

I wish I had Liquid Paper for my eyes… I’d like to call it Liquid Eyepaper. And if it ever comes out, you first heard about it here. That’s what this blog is all about folks, changing the world.

Just saying Liquid Eyepaper, I know I am in trouble with a number of demographic groups like infants, teenagers and the North of Ninety crowd. Painting the eyes with liquid paper is just not advised, people. I realize that for each of these groups, the cognitive capacities may not be where we all wished they could be. Infants can’t do much about it, and well, neither can the teenagers. And the North of Nineties deserve to have their fun, but just not around the eyes.

Why Liquid Eyepaper you ask? I wish I could just erase some things from my eyes… whisk it away from the Hard Drive. For some of you Crusader types it may be causes like suffering animals and melting Iced Cappuccino’s (Melting Polar Ice Caps for the little ones out there). War is certainly on the list and so is homelessness. But all that is real stuff that I don’t want to forget because forgetting would make me less human. That stuff should bother you and I. In fact, we should remember it all a little more.

No, people, I am making a case that we get some scientists together so we can develop an Eyeball Eraser… Liquid Eyepaper. You will understand when you read my list below. I want to warn you that the first four are about bodily hair. No, I do not have a thing with hair. And no, I do not have ADHD. I think I’ve already said that in about 16 of my posts. (And all of you are thinking… OCD).

The top ten things I wish I could erase from my eyes

1. The hairy chest. You know, the one where the creepy finger like chest hairs peek out of the top of the shirt, swaying to the breeze. Ick!
2. The hairy back. Sweater Back. Angora Sweater Back.
3. Medusa eyebrows. Creepy hairy eyebrows where the eyebrow hairs look like Medusa snakes daring you to look at them. Then you turn to revolted cement and freeze up.
4. Ear antennae. Antenna hairs that extend from the ear, just like the solitary Dandelion that forces it’s way through the sidewalk cracks. I guess the hair genes on the head give out… but there is that one spot on the top of the ear where the hair genes make their last stand.
5. Butt cracks. We like to blame the Plumbers, but there are a lot of other Butts that stretch out and take a peek. Just get a damned belt.
6. The Tim Horton’s dog whisperer. The fella who fed his dog on the table at Tim Horton’s. I know who you are. It’s called GPS tracker. No, it’s not cute. And the dog is not your child.
7. The world underneath my children’s beds: dust, old wrappers, lonely socks, boogers. No, this is NOT a fantasy world. It is real and there are monsters under there.
8. The inside of my sink drain. Living with a wife and a daughter. What’s inside is a combination of hair and the leftovers from brushing all of our teethee’s… ICK!
9. My summer vacation bill.
10. Oldy-Goldy Fridge leftovers. The 3 month old leftovers that are inside my fridge. Probably my fault. Don’t blame my wife, she keeps a clean house. I just like to mess things up a little. Keeps it… real.

Well folks, that is my list. Hope you En-joyed it.

If you like what I have to say, Like this post and sign up for my blog. Please share this with your friends. Brighten their day. And as I say in my homepage, most of what I write is about Humor. Humor is about More… being more humane, more resilient and best of all more fun!